Wow. I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I last talked to you all on my blog. I’ve thought about it for a while now, coming back and blogging, but I’ve been busy. Okay?
Between hitting up The Edge several times a week and slamming Frosty Bombs, going to the gym (yeah, I do CrossFit), and keeping up with my other daily responsibilities like making sure I spend just enough time scrolling through TikTok and dating apps to not notice the excessive amounts of laundry that have somehow piled themselves up in the corner of my bedroom, a girls been busy.
But anyways, the point that I’m trying to make in all of this is that Kate K is back and you can expect nothing less than for me to continue oversharing the messy details of my life and the scandalous stories you know and expect from Your Basic Blonde- like that one time I leaked the roster by adding all of my hoes to a group chat together(and then I proceeded to leave the chat), or the time I did the deed with a country singer in his tour bus after his concert… or the time I got a breast reduction.
Okay, some of those may or may not be true, but you get what I mean. Sometimes you just need a little bit of *spice* in your life.
So, let’s get into it by talking about something that’s been on my mind lately and that’s how can you feel fulfilled in hookup culture?
For those of you that know me, you know that I’ve never had a relationship, long term anything or god forbid a boy that even liked me. Hahahaha. Fuck me…Right?
I’ve heard it all- and it usually includes something along the lines of I’m not ready for a commitment”, “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life right now” only to be followed up with a sly “but we can still hookup though”.
And now that we’re being honest, it’s really not something that makes me feel the best about myself, so, I was thinking, what can I do to feel fulfilled by hookup culture?
Here’s what I realized:
1. Don’t go into it hoping that this hookup will evolve into something more if they’ve already shown you their true intentions.
This is such a hard one for me because I always give almost all these terrible guys the benefit of the doubt that ‘once they get to know me and see how fun I am and how I have my life together, of course they’ll like me’. Wrong.
Be sure to check in with yourself before and after hookups and make sure that all your intentions with your sexual partners remain intact.
If you feel that you’re interested in more than just casual sex, communicate this with your partner and if they don’t feel the same, it’s a good idea to end it there and not sleep with them again because you’ll just get more invested. Trust me, I’ve made this mistake too many times.
Once guys have made up their minds, they’re not going to change them.
2. Is hooking up still sexually serving me?
If the sex isn’t good, don’t continue to do it. I’ve had times where I felt lonely and because of this, I decided to sleep with a guy just because I wanted that connection. Not because the sex was good. If you realize that you’re no longer feeling excited or engaged, listen to your gut.
There’s so much power in walking away from situations. And besides, a vibrator always makes you cum.
3. Ask yourself how you feel after the hookup.
If the sex is good in the moment, of course you’re going to feel great, but how do you feel after the fact? If you’re feeling used or empty, try taking a break from the hookup scene for a little while. Different people need different things from sex and relationships. And that’s okay! And we’re constantly becoming different people every damn day. Be sure to check in on yourself.
XOXO
-Your Basic Blonde
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