Sunday, October 11 is National Coming Out Day. This is a day dedicated to raising awareness for individuals within the LQBTQ+ community. It’s also a day where many people will “come out.” So, bitch you guessed it. I’m here to tell you that I’m a proud, bisexual woman, and I would not change that for anything. Most of my close friends already know this about me, but in honor of National Coming Out Day, I’m here to come out to the rest of you. Also, it’s 2020 so if you’re still homophobic…GTFO.
To help shed some light on bisexuality, here’s five things I want you to know about the bisexual girl in your life.
Being bisexual is not just a phase.
No, I’m not just going through a phase of experimentation. In fact, I think it was around age 15 when I started showing signs that I liked girls, before I really figured it out for myself. Looking back now, it all makes sense, being extra supportive of same sex couples, having a sixth sense about other girls’ sexuality and adding more and more women to my girl crush list. Some of my best friends growing up were openly gay and I thought it was adorable. Never once did I think anything was “weird” or “different” about it. It seemed so natural to me.
However, growing up Catholic this wasn’t something my family and I talked too much about. Now don’t get me wrong, my parents have always been accepting of the fact that not everyone’s straight. Especially since my mom’s brother is gay. My parents knew how much he struggled with being gay and growing up in a strict, conservative, Catholic environment. He almost took his own life because of it. This is just another one of the several reasons my parents have been supporting of the LQBTQ+ culture despite being Catholic.
So it’s not like I was ever scared to tell my parents about me being bisexual, it was just something I had never chose to openly talk about. Although I’m pretty sure they thought something was up because I had never brought a boy home and (still never have).
Anyways, me deciding to come out as bisexual has taken a lot of time, personal reflection and courage for even myself to be true about who I am. If your girl is questioning her sexuality, don’t belittle her by shrugging off her sexuality by saying she’s just “confused” or “experimenting.”
Just because she’s bi doesn’t mean she’s always going to be down for a threesome.
Finding a bi girl isn’t like discovering a unicorn. We’re a lot more common than you may think. But remember, just because we’re bi doesn’t mean we’re down to fulfill all of your sexual fantasies. Yes, that includes having threesomes. Not saying I’m opposed to that either, but it would definitely take the right person.
If you ask your girl about having a threesome, she may consent, but her sexuality doesn’t make her any more open to experimentation than any other gay or straight person. And honestly, being with a girl versus a man is a completely different experience. Some women may even want to keep these experiences separate. It’s all up to what you and your partner feel comfortable with.
Just because she is in a relationship with one gender doesn’t mean she automatically loses attraction to the other gender. When you’re bisexual, you’re attracted to both genders.
If she’s in a relationship with a guy, that doesn’t mean she magically decided to become straight. All that means is that she found a person that she’s attracted to and has a connection with. Your girl can still find women just as equally attractive. She probably likes Mila Kunas just as much as you do.
Also, hello lesbian porn. Do I need to say more?
She isn’t attracted to everyone.
Just like how a straight male isn’t attracted to all females, your bisexual girl isn’t attracted to all girls. I define myself as a “femme” which means I portray myself with very feminine behaviors and styles. I’m also most attracted to “femme” girls. It’s just what I’m personally into.
Also, just because your girl is bisexual doesn’t mean that she's more promiscuous or more likely to cheat. When I decide to get into a relationship, whether it’s with a man or a woman, I’ll be faithful to my partner.
If my partner and I discussed bringing a third party into the bedroom, that would have to be something we’ve discussed ahead of time and have set boundaries for.
She may be scared to tell you.
Deciding to come out is a very courageous thing to do and a lot of the time most people struggle with expressing their sexuality. Make sure you’re open with your partner about how you feel. If they respect you they’ll listen and understand your feelings. Help your partner feel comfortable by giving them your unconditional support.
Being openly bisexual has changed my life for the better. Since coming out I’ve been more confident and happy about who I truly am. I hope this blog helps anyone else who has felt the same way.
-Your Basic Blonde
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