Within the past year, I've just had my first relationship. It lasted nearly a year, and although it was long distance, it taught me several things.
I've learned that it's easy to get attached quickly to someone who you've just met. Maybe it's because they're attractive, nice, talented, and they treat us right.
But how soon is too soon to get attached?
As I've been navigating the dating world, I've realized that I have an anxious attachment style. And I hate that for me. What I've found is that some days my mood is so high because of how great things are going with my partner and I.
And then other days, I find myself and my mood reflecting upon how I feel my partner's energy has been towards me.
If I feel they're being distant or they do something that I don't like, I shut down.
It's not healthy, I know. But those fears of abandonment and rejection then present themselves as clinginess, or internal emotions, like low-self esteem.
Simply put, I'm the queen of getting overly attached to someone that didn't really like me in the first place, but I somehow delusionally convinced myself that they were obsessed with me. And I would then attach myself to this person and the idea that we would end up together and that they liked me and respected me equally as much.
Fast forward a few weeks, and I would be hit with the reality that they were full of shit and that I was living in fucking la-la-land in my head.
What I thought that relationship was for me, was actually a load of absolutely nothing.
It's the feeling of butterflies when you talk to this person and finding yourself thinking,"this is it" or "things are really going to work out this time"or "I really like the way I feel around them."
Meanwhile, they're out seeing three other girls after your date, and you probably had no idea.
So, moving forward, here's how I've been working on avoiding getting attached too fast.
Take Time For Yourself
Don't stop doing the things that you like to do for yourself. Go to the gym, prioritize your health and diet, get your hair and nails done. Whatever it is that makes you feel good about yourself, keep doing that.
Don't stop dating yourself just because you're with someone new. Go for that walk by yourself. Go to the coffee shop by yourself. Go get a drink by yourself. And don't forget to dance with your damn yourself.
Live In The Moment
This is my BIG one I'm working on. And this has been extremely hard, but ultimately, I think like me, you'll find it'll help with your inner peace.
Don't stress about what he's doing. Let him talk to whoever he wants, do what he wants. Just respect and trust him.
If he decides to break your trust and mess it all up, then it's meant to be like that.
Stop worrying about the things you can't control.
-Your Basic Blonde
Comentários