One of the most painful, but often inevitable things to happen after a traumatic event between close friends is a falling out. This falling out may not have happened over night or even over weeks but as time kept on you noticed feelings of resentment and animosity swelling between you and this now stranger.
It’s in this moment that you realize your relationship has reached the point of detonation.
So now you’re faced with a choice. Be confrontational or move in silence? And as I’ve gotten older and learned from previous experiences (quite a few of them), it’s simply better to just remove toxic people from your life without offering them a tedious explanation. Sometimes we have no choice when they already know what they’ve done is wrong.
Losing a close friendship is mournful. Losing a close friendship is messy. Losing a close friendship means that there’s someone out there who knows more of your personal secrets than you might have ever wanted.
There’s no clear right or wrong way to navigate a friend-turned-stranger situation but here are my thoughts when it comes to healing from an obliterated friendship.
Reflect-
Sometimes it takes time to get into a clear mindset to fully dissect the actions of those who have hurt us. But by taking a few steps back to distance yourself from a toxic friend you may just realize that the words and actions of this person have in fact left your friendship irremediable.
Remember-
It’s okay to remember the good times you had with this friend. But don’t forget the harsh truth that some things aren’t meant to last forever. This chapter of your life is closed. And removing people from your life doesn’t mean you hate them, it just means that not everyone is meant to stay.
Leave it-
You have every right to end a friendship or any relationship no matter the history. You don’t owe a toxic friend an explanation, although you may wish to give them one, it’s better to take the no contact approach. Chances are this person’s conscience already knows why you have chosen to end the friendship.
Don’t let the behavior of others be what’s destroying your inner peace.
And although mourning the end of a close friendship is sad, the best way to recover from an obliterated friendship is to move quietly and peacefully. If you see them out, don’t talk to or engage with them, but just be grateful for the memories you’ve had with them.
I feel like everyone that I have been friends with over the years was for a reason and I am really glad I was able to know them. But as for this obliterated friendship- you’re just not good for my mental health.
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